We Are All Waiting

Ruminating on this: "We Are All Waiting."

And yes, we are all waiting for something.

I had been waiting for something to happen to me. I needed a good reason to quit my job but all I did was sit around and wait for things to get so bad that I would eventually have to retaliate. That's right, I bring the fight to me, bitch.

A few days ago I decided to do what I wanted to do.

But the process is this: I recieve a leaflet with trees on the front. Inside are lots of details on what my psychotherapist education will be like. It relies heavily on peaceful imagery and warns that I shouldn't take the course if I have been diagnosed with mental illness "(e.g. schizophrenia)"... I'm not schizophrenic (or so the voices tell me) but like every great artist I have bouts of terrible depression. I lied about this to get on the course. This was ill advised as it will all reach the surface at some point anyway.

It's going to take a long three years to do this and I have to continue working at the same time anyway because I'm poor, so that big question for me is why the fuck do I want to be a psychotherapistso much anyway?

The obvious answer is that I desire to have a kind of scarey power over other people. This is in fact the truthful answer.

But I can't write that on my application...