Holy Fuck

or I Miss Missing or I Miss Going Missing, Being Missed By You.

Autumn does not feel like a real season. Here where I am, it's either getting colder or getting warmer, and those are the seasons. But right now it's the strange time of year where short sleeves and earmuffs isn't such a strange choice.

Looking back at my last blog post, I notice that it kind of sucks. I should explain that the hallucinations I've been having all week are from lack of sleep. I decided vehemently that the more I slept, the sadder and less creative I was. Who, after all, would really want their mind to be at ease? I much prefer my mind to be racing along, struggling and half processing many more things that it could realistically deal with.

The more we sleep, the more boring we are or eventually become.

I was becoming sick of sleeping more than living. Working more than living. It was the only time in my life so far that I thought "I better get some sleep." What did I think the consequences were going to be?

So I think I prefer myself tired. But I also think it's going to take a whole lifetime to learn how to live in my skin.

----

Post Script: I feel that, once again, I have written mostly about nothing so I promise that this weekend I will tell a good story to my blog and its nonexistant readers.