Trading Lives With Batman

In a weird turn of events, Dick Grayson came to my door yesterday morning and strongly suggested that I take over the burden of being Batman for a whole month. Obviously, this was completely awkward because I'm trying to find a new job at the moment and I don't really have time, but the guy has SO much money, he pretty much bribed me into it.

Turns out though, Norwich is a pretty safe place to live. Compared to Gotham City.

I missed a couple of major things which I guess would be used against me if ever I get judged for my efforts. There was a drunken fight on one of the bridges over the Wensum and a guy drowned, but I didn't even know about it because how the fuck would I? Then some other man died because two drunk dudes beat the shit out of him. It's tragic, yes, but wearing this custume is reeaallly embarrassing and I don't really want to be seen in it.

I cleared up some litter though and drove around in my car (didn't use bat mobile because it's way too confusing and has flying capabilities which is something that I really don't want to have to learn) looking for people who were being criminals but nothing actually came up.

There was a fancy dress party and some guy was dressed as Heath Ledgers Joker which threw me at first because it was a convincing costume and I'm not really qualified to battle people like that.

Another complaint I have, and I don't mean to go on, but I didn't get a Robin. It's not that I needed one, but if anything did come up, I would have probably fucked it all up. Robin could have at least given me a few pointers, but I didn't get anything.

I'm telling you, Dick Grayson owes me big time. If he didn't want to be Batman he could have just hung himself.